High school students in today’s world face a very different task when applying to colleges than their parents did years ago. Access to the internet has changed this process in radical ways, many of them positive. However, in my work as a private admissions counselor, I have noticed a few negative effects as well.
When those of us “of a certain age” applied to college, in general we applied to three or four schools. We did our research as best we could, tried to visit the campuses (since students at that time usually stayed much closer to home this was easier), and crossed our fingers and waited to hear. In my memory, and that of others I have spoken with about this, we did not have the feeling that we had found the “perfect school.” Our attitude was more that we would become the type of person who would be happy in a particular school once we settled in.
Students today do an enormous amount of research online before choosing to apply to what has become the norm of 15 or more schools. I have seen students with college lists of more than 30 schools. The internet has given students the feeling that they really have a handle on every aspect of each college and university they are applying to. With virtual tours and very sophisticated websites, I have found that students are often quite certain that they have discovered the perfect place to spend the next four years of their lives. Though this sounds like a wonderful thing, it can also lead in some cases to an unattainable picture of what college will be like.
The best help parents can provide when talking with their students about college choice is to remind them that perfection doesn’t exist. Encouraging students to be patient and keep an open mind once they have made their decision may make the transition to college life much smoother.
It can be very helpful to have a discussion with students explaining that it’s perfectly normal to be homesick at some point (it’s not always first semester freshman year), or to feel that all their high school friends are enjoying every bit of college life when they really aren’t. It can be a disservice to try to reassure students by telling them they are going to love college – chances are they won’t love all four years or even close to that.
In the end, there is no such thing as a perfect choice. A little time spent helping to readjust expectations can mean an easier transition when leaving home for school by relieving some of the pressure.